


Who I Am

by Rawrlove19



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Anger, Angry Ashton, Banding, Breaking Things, Comfort, Crying Ashton, Gen, Hurt, Implied Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, fathers, friends - Freeform, reconnected, violent rage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-01
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-07 13:51:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 957
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11060334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rawrlove19/pseuds/Rawrlove19
Summary: Ashton storms into band practice one day in a violent fit of rage. What will his band mates do?





	Who I Am

It was an ordinary day. At least that's what Luke, Calum, and Michael thought until their angry drummer stormed into rehearsal in a fit of fiery rage. It wasn't often that the happy-go-lucky drummer got angry. Depressed? Yes. Ashton always felt like he was at fault for anything and everything, so he rarely even had a reason to get angry. It was safe to say that his three band mates were beyond worried.

"Ash, you okay?" Luke decided to speak up first. Ashton had always scared him when he got like this. Calum and Michael stared at the angry boy waiting silently for an answer to his odd behavior.

"I'm fine, Luke! Just peachy!" Ashton snapped. "Why don't you just shut your mouth so we can get band practice over with already!" Ashton never spoke like this. Especially to Luke. Luke was the innocent little brother of the band and Ashton was the fun older brother that always got into trouble with him. Luke flinched back at Ashton's tone. It definitely took a lot to scare Luke, but Ashton's tone combined with his harsh words had definitely done the job.

"Whoa there. That was rude!" Michael interjected, his own anger taking over. "What gives? We can't band if we can't play nice!"

"Well maybe I don't want to play nice, Michael. Maybe playing nice is the last thing I want to do. I'm so sick of this. What's the point in being nice, anyway? It gets you nowhere in life. There's always going to be someone that going to chew you up and ruin everything you worked for." Ashton burst out, surprising the three boys once again.

"Ashton, do you need to tell us something?" Calum asked with a look that told Ashton he better tell or face the consequences. Ashton let out a sigh before narrowing his eyes and letting out a harsh scream as he slammed one of his drumsticks onto his drum kit, effectively snapping it in half and making a large hole in the drum itself. Seeing what he had done, Ashton threw his other drumstick against the opposite wall in an increasingly violent fit of rage.

"Ashton, calm down mate!" Michael tried to calm his friend down for the sake of everyone's safety.

"What's the point, Michael? Everything I've ever worked hard for means nothing. I don't know why I even joined this band. It was a waste of time, and if anything it just proved how stupid and how much of a failure I really am!" Ashton yelled before he started smashing his fists into his forehead as a means to calm himself down. Seeing what the drummer was doing, Calum was immediately at his friend side and restraining his arms from causing any real damage.

"Ash, talk to me. Please!" Luke begged, crouching down on the floor next to the drummer. Michael stood beside him and place a comforting hand on his shoulder. It was then that Ashton finally broke.

"I'm sorry." Ashton broke into tiny sobs. "It's just that...my father finally reached out to me after all of these years."

"He what?!" Luke gasped, surprised that Mr. Irwin had actually reached out to the son he had abandoned so many years ago.

"I didn't- I didn't want to talk to him, but my Mum asked me to and you know that I could never say no to her." Ashton elaborated. "So, even though I didn't want to, I met with him. And it turns out he's some small scale reporter that wanted to use me for publicity."

"That can't be all he wanted." Calum whispered softly to his friend, trying to be positive despite the situation.

"No, it is. He told me, 'looks like the mistake can be of some use after all' and that he 'figured I would be scum on the streets just like Mum'. Who even says that?" Ashton gasped out. All three boys were in shock. How could someone so sweet come from someone so horrible?

"Ashton, you're an amazing person. Better than he could ever dream of being." Michael assured him. Ashton in return simply chuckled darkly.

"But what if I'm just like him? He is my father, after all." Ashton insisted. Luke pinched the bridge of his nose before speaking his mind.

"Ashton Fletcher Irwin! You are an amazing guy. You could never be that cruel even if you wanted to. You're better than that. Just remember that."

"But you've seen me just now when I got angry and all of the other times as well! I...I've never told anyone this before, but... he used to beat my Mum. Badly. She would just take it, so I could live a good life. One day, though, he hit me. I don't remember it, I was only four years old, but that was when my Mum finally kicked him out. I don't want to be that kind of person." Ashton looked down sadly as his friends absorbed this newfound information. In his mind, his friends were going to hate him and kick him out of the band for being the spawn of this horrible man. That simply wasn't the case.

"Well I happen to think your Mum is pretty scary when she gets angry!" Michael reasoned with his Michael-logic.

"So?" Ashton was extremely confused on where this was going.

"So, maybe you got your Mum's temper and not your dad's. You know what? In fact, I know it. You have your Mum's temper so don't worry your little head off Ashton Irwin!" Michael grinned brightly as he let Ashton digest his theory. After a moment, Ashton smiled largely and let out a deep, heart-felt chuckle.

"What would I ever do without you three!"


End file.
